Review: The Astonishing Colour of After by Emily X. R. Pan

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The Astonishing Colour of After by Emily X. R. Pan is an emotional and gorgeously written story of grief and healing. I’m still reeling at just how beautiful the writing was! It’s a visual feast and it uses colours to complete paint the story and world around you. It’s also really important to have narratives like this from authors who’ve put part of their own journeys onto the page. This book is a privilege to read as we get to see the life of a biracial Taiwanese girl who is discovering who she is, what she needs, and how to heal in the wake of her mother’s suicide.

Leigh is sixteen when she discovers her mother’s suicide and her life is completely dismantled. She feels lost and alone and with no way to process this…and then she starts seeing a red bird that’s leaving her messages and nudges: go find your estranged Taiwanese grandparents. Leigh believes the bird is her mum and she has to go find answers. Like why her mum cut ties with her grandparents in the first place.

Leigh is an artist so the story is told with vivid and colourful descriptions. It’s like you’re reading a painting at times. The writing draws you in immediately and you just have to savour it too. I’d definitely pick up more by this author in an instant just on the strength of her prose!

The story is also told with plenty of flash backs to Leigh’s childhood. Including her best friend (and boy she has a total crush on) Axel. He was super sweet and watching them grow up together and then clash was heartbreaking and also buoying as the story progressed.

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It’s also very much about being biracial, connecting with your roots, and discussing mental illness. Emotion bleeds on every page and after reading the author’s note and knowing she wrote this to process a suicide within her relations? I’m so thankful she shared this story. It is SO SAD. It also doesn’t demonise or romanticise mental illness, but chooses to discuss it bluntly but with hope too. It is obviously a very dark portrayal and Leigh blames her mother, not the illness, a bit. But overall it talks about how mental illness isn’t a choice and it deserves to be recognised and treated seriously.

I also appreciated that the story was about healing too. For Leigh and her father, but also for her grandparents and even Axel. It will probably make you cry, but it will also give you light.

It’s partially set in Taiwan too, and the descriptions are vivid and gorgeous, so it’s like getting to travel just by reading! There’s the hint of magical realism with Leigh being convinced her mother has changed into a bird, but has she really? I love how the book doesn’t really say.

I definitely recommend THE ASTONISHING COLOUR OF AFTER and will rave forever about how beautiful and important the story is. It’s emotional and poignant and deserves all the hype.

Review: Mirage by Somaiya Daud

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Mirage by Somaiya Daud is a gorgeously lush story of rebels and body-doubles, inspired by the author’s Moroccan heritage and set amongst the stars. I actually didn’t realise it was sci-fi when I picked it up, but I was so excited and enthralled when I realised we were not only getting Moroccan-based culture and traditions — but also droids and tech and spaceships! I definitely hope this is the first of many books like this!

The story is told by Amani, who is a dreamer and poet on a small moon in a smaller village. She’s just turned eighteen and is receiving her special tattoo that marks her as an adult, when horror strikes. The traditional ceremony is interrupted by droids who scan all the girls’ faces but only take one: Amani. She’s whisked away into space, kidnapped by the brutal Vathek regime, and brought before their cruel and nasty princess…whose face has a startling resemblance to Amani’s. It turns out Amani is going to be used as a body-double. If there’s some place too dangerous for the princess to be, Amani will step in. Her life will be at constant risk, but failure to comply means her family’s death. She feels hopeless and trapped, tortured by Princess Maram, and lonely so far away from home. But her new life is full of glittering privileged and Amani learns to walk like a queen, be around the gorgeous prince she’s “supposed” to marry, and also accidental stumble on the hint of a rebellion and she could, quite possibly, stoke those flames…

What really stood out to me was the incredible world-building! It was perfect in every way, rich and luscious, weaving in myths and customs along with descriptions of their clothes and food! I loved the brief beginning chapters in Amani’s home village, where she’s preparing for her ceremony. And her respect and admiration for her family, plus her love of all things magical and poetic, was so sweet.

The contrast of going to the viciously lavish imperial courts was also so well done! When Amani gets there, and learns to live as Princess Maram, she has so much change and development. I did want a little more from the girls’ relationship, but it ended up being sparse as Amani would get whisked off to play body-double and didn’t actually spend much time with Maram. The two are such contrast though! Maram is snarky vinegar and Amani has such a sugar soul…although she’s determined, clever, and not about to be walked over. It’s nice to see soft, feminine protagonists, who are still strong and complex!

The plot follows a lot of being whisked around the courts and deception and quiet scheming. I did think there’d be more assassin attempts?! But the ones that were in there were chilling! There’s plenty of politics and pain and betrayal.

Mirage is definitely a story to look out for! It’s absolutely gorgeous world building will sweep you right off your feet, and you’ll soon become entranced in this world of gorgeous gowns and royal balls, while wars and conquering rage in the background, and a girl just tries to stay alive and decide if what she’s willing to risk for her people.

Review: The Edge Of The Universe by Shaun David Hutchinson

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The Edge of the Universe by Shaun David Hutchinson is such a unique book and I couldn’t stop reading it! I want to say “couldn’t put it down” but I actually read the audiobook, and I thoroughly recommend that too because the narration was awesome. But it was so addictive because it spun so many questions with a hint of a sci-fi flavour. The whole time I had no idea if things were real or not and the book crafted and handled the story so well!

The story is centred around Ozzie who believes the universe is shrinking after his boyfriend disappeared. And not “ran away”…his boyfriend is 100% gone from the town, from everyone’s memories, and from Ozzie’s entire life. Even his journal entries are rewriting themselves to cut out Tommy’s entire existence. Obviously this is devastating for Ozzie because not only is he facing the heartbreak of his best friend and boyfriend disappearing — no one believes him. Plus he’s graduating school and stuck working on a project with the class’s most messed up kid, Calvin, who most definitely has deep problems going on. And Ozzie knows the universe is shrinking because as the galaxies disappear everyone denies they ever existed. The real question: what the heck is going on? And how can he get Tommy back?

Honestly I’ve never read a book or premise like this! I was captured from the very first page because I wanted to know if the universe was shrinking, or was Ozzie having a mental breakdown? Did Tommy ever exist or did Ozzie make him up to deal with the stress of his parents’ divorce, his brother entering the army, and his best friend Lua leaving town to carve a life without Ozzie in it. Ozzie ended up going to a ton of therapists and, since no one believed him about the universe shrinking or his missing boyfriend, I am a bit surprised he wasn’t being diagnosed as delusional. But he managed to keep his life together by a few threads while trying to figure out what was going on.

I loved the secondary character cast too!! Calvin is a complex and absolutely adorable darling, who has some seriously dark secrets about abuse in his life and is very wary to let anyone in. His and Ozzie’s friendship isn’t smooth and isn’t always healthy, but I thought it was super realistic.

I also loved Lua, Ozzie’s genderfluid BFF, who’s an amazing rock singer looking to make it big after highschool. Lua was seriously dynamic and I liked how the story showed their insecurities as well as highs.

Also shout out to how diverse it was! This is an #ownvoices book for Ozzie’s lgbt narration, and there’s also genderfluid and asexual and people of different races making up the strong supporting cast. It’s always so refreshing when books acknowledge the whole world and give minorities a voice!

There is also a lot of serious topics dealt with in this book. So don’t go in expecting a light fluffy read. It’s pretty confronting and at times devastating, but I think all the series issues were handled with care and respect.

I did like the style too! The writing was simple and clear and I did wish it had a bit more emotion, but Ozzie was a fabulous narrator to share the journey with. He was super selfish at times, but I loved his arc and how he grew over the course of the book.

The Edge of the Universe is such an interesting story, stuffed with questions and theories. I’m so here for this contemporary / sci-fi mashup and I’d love to read more books like this! Calvin was the light of the book, honestly, and I loved how Ozzie matured. And the ending?! I will say no more: but it was pretty satisfying.

Review: Love, Hate And Other Filters by Samira Ahmed

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Love, Hate And Other Filters by Samira Ahmed is combination of a cute fluffy romance and a very personal look at racism and hate crimes. The book really discusses a lot of issues going on in today’s world, especially the blind aggression and hate immigrants and Muslims can receive when they’re just trying to live their lives! It’s also an #ownvoices story, which means you can really feel the author pouring their heart and experiences into the story. It definitely pays off!

The story follows Maya Aziz who is a Muslim Indian-American teen who loves documentaries and film and deeply wants to study it in college. Only problem: her parents have other plans. Most of which include finding a good Indian husband and studying law or to be a doctor. Maya’s dreams keep conflicting with their plans and, to make matters more tense in the family, she also has a very deep and secret crush on a boy at school — who’s decidedly not one her parents would ever approve of. She gets caught up going on an approved date with Kareem, who honestly is really nice…but, her heart is still with Phil. And when their causal hangouts turn into him really caring about her and her dreams…which side is she supposed to pick?

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A big part of Maya’s life, and also the plot, is a discussion on the repercussions on terrorist attacks. When a really terrible attack happens in a nearby city, Maya’s Muslim family receives a ton of hate and it’s super scary and really makes you think as you read. And while the plot is absolutely tackling heavy topics, it does balance it out with Maya’s romantic indecision and her movie and film references as she pursues her passion.

I’m not a huge movie buff, so admittedly a lot of the references were lost on me. But I loved that Maya HAD a goal and was definitely going to pursue it! It made her a really driven character and totally admirable. Also I haven’t read many books with characters who love being behind a camera, so this was new!

Maya herself was complex and interesting! She was definitely very torn between wishing her parents were happy with her, but hating the life they’d planned out. (She can’t handle tons of jewellery and high heels and the idea of being a lawyer. Nooo. Leave her with her movies please.) There’s a lot of tension and problems between her and her parents too.

The peek into Indian-American culture was amazing!  I love how the writing utilised the 5-senes to make the scenes really pop off the page. The food was so good I practically wanted to eat my copy.

The story itself is also pretty short and sweet. Like a cupcake! It has some brief scenes from the terrorist’s perspective too, which keeps you guessing and also keeps an ominous presence in the background.

Love Hate And Other Filters is definitely an important and topical discussion that’s really good to read and think about! It’s cute and mushy at times and also discusses the ripple effect of hate crimes and how deeply it can change and shake innocent people’s lives.