Noni Hazlehurst Lays Waste to Our Collective Childhood



It was bad enough when Werner Herzog, professional hippy and filmmaker, read aloud the children’s-book-for-adults Go the F*** to Sleep and destroyed documentaries for me forever. But things just got worse and worse.

Even though I had heard Samuel L. Jackson, beloved star of such children’s classics as Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown, drop the occasional cuss word, I wasn’t prepared for the aural onslaught of him reading Go the F*** to Sleep. University students the world over wept in their sleep as Pulp Fiction posters mysteriously dropped from dorm-room walls.


But then things got really bad. Noni Hazlehurst’s reading has literally destroyed my childhood. No seriously, don’t laugh or condemn my misuse of the word ‘literally’. It’s been several years since I watched Playschool, but I’m pretty sure it stopped existing when I stopped watching it. That’s how beloved children’s television shows work, right? At any rate, it was only right and proper that the boys at YouTube pulled the video off the site when they saw Noni destroying their childhoods as well. If you haven’t already seen it, and let’s face it, it happened a week ago now so you probably have, then just try to watch the video above and not cringe every time Noni’s gentle motherly lips frame the F-bomb.

What is next, I ask you? Barney the Dinosaur? The Teletubbies? Dame Judi Dench? Will the madness never stop? I think it would be best for everyone if we bring this evil to the surface now and then move on from the whole sorry business. So if you’ve come across any other readings of this vile piece of not-quite-children’s literature, please sound off in the comments below. And be sure to include a link.